Just So You Know
by Beautifully Ugly
Summary: He wanted to be able to hold her in his arms without having a reason to do so. He wanted to be able to kiss her whenever he pleased. He wanted her, plain and simple." JL - R&R.
1. Just So You Know

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter equals not mine plus J.K. Rowling's. I'm not even good at maths, yet I was able to figure that one out. I don't own Jesse McCartney's song, either, and I'm ok with that, but, like, could I James? What d'you mean I can't? Spoilsport...

**Author's Note:** Two-shot. Based on Jesse McCartney's _Just So You Know_, from the album 'Right Where You Want Me'. Just about one of the only songs of his that I do like, funnily enough.

Review, please, and let me know how I did. Oh, and since this is a two-shot, you can add this onto your story alerts :)

* * *

**Just So You Know**

—**Chapter 1—**  
_Just So You Know_

_--_

Just so you know,  
This feeling's taking control of me  
And I can't help it  
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now  
Thought you should know,  
I've tried my best to let go of you,  
But I don't want to,  
I just gotta say it all  
Before I go,  
Just so you know...

_Just So You Know_ by Jesse McCartney

--

Her sweet voice reverberated throughout the Gryffindor Common Room, her melodic laughter ringing in his ears hypnotically.

A slight smile graced James's full lips as he watched her from his seat in the armchair, watched the way her emerald eyes narrowed with mirth, the way her ruby curls framed her face as she bent forwards in a failing attempt to avoid the arm that was snaking around her waist. Her plump, rosy lips curved upwards attractively, her smooth, porcelain skin positively glowing, a hint of rose tinted on her cheeks. Her black school skirt rode up a few inches, exposing even more of her luscious long legs as she giggled, squirming, her pretty features lit up in a radiant smile.

His breath caught in his throat, his hazel eyes mesmerised by the redheaded beauty a few paces away from him.

There was no other way to describe her. She was _beautiful_.

His eyes darkened as he acrimoniously watched the other young man pull her back to his chest and lift her off her feet. She squealed, wriggling in the boy's arms as he spun her around, chuckling happily. The boy gently placed her on her feet, smiling as she turned in his arms to face him. She was saying something, something he couldn't decipher from his distance. The boy hugged her, in response, laughing.

James felt his heart twist painfully at the warm embrace. That was supposed to be _him_ holding her that way, _his_ arms around her, _his_ body pressed against hers. His hands, of their own accord, curled aggressively into fists, his jaw clenching angrily. That was supposed to be _him_. He turned away, loathingly staring out of the window and into the pitch-black night sky.

That was supposed to be _him_…

* * *

He watched her frown, biting her lip as she fought to stay focused in the rowdy Common Room. Her pearly white teeth tugged at her bottom lip, leaving a red patch before she licked it, the pink tip of her tongue darting out briefly. She looked so adorable, her ponytail grazing the side of her face as she bent her head in concentration. James wanted to kiss her right there and then…

A loud laugh drew him to his senses, and his eyes snapped away from his beloved redhead. Sitting a few paces away from her was her boyfriend, chortling noisily with his friends without a care in the world. James felt anger bubble madly within him.

How _dare_ he? His _girlfriend_ was sitting at the desk, trying to do her Transfiguration homework, and he was mucking around with his mates! Lily glanced up, scowling slightly at her boyfriend's direction, but did not say anything. He remained ignorant of his girlfriend's actions, and James felt like punching the lights out of the idiot.

He glared at the boy hatefully. Lily deserved so much better than that git.

And yet it had been a week. A week and she hadn't even mentioned anything having a boyfriend to him. He'd seen them together, though. The boy – Simon, he was called – was always touching her somehow, as if claiming her his property. A protective arm around the shoulder, a tight grip on her hand, it always varied, and James found this exceedingly irritating.

He knew Simon did it to goad him, because he would always check to see whether he was looking before casually throwing an arm around her shoulder, and it worked every time. They both knew it. Simon just wanted to watch James suffer silently. And he was succeeding.

They _both_ knew it.

Sighing angrily, James got up, deciding to help Lily with her Transfiguration. He walked up until he was right behind her, and he opened his mouth to say something.

All of a sudden, _Simon_ appeared at her side, smirking evilly at him before whispering something to her and snaking an arm around her shoulder. She shifted uncomfortably and shook the arm off, brushing him off curtly.

It was all James could do not to hug Lily out of happiness. Not once looking at Simon, he greeted Lily and took the seat next to her. She smiled up at him, a warm smile, a different smile to the one she usually gave Simon, he noticed. He didn't even think of throwing a furious Simon a gloating look as he began helping her.

Because even if it was all a game to Simon, it wasn't to James.

It never had been.

* * *

That night, they met up for patrols, exchanging warm grins and light-hearted talk. She thanked him for helping with her Transfiguration. He told her not to mention it, and to come to him if she had any more problems. She smiled.

They were walking in a comfortable silence now, the sounds of their steps clattering down the stone walls of the narrow, dimly lit corridor.

He glanced at her occasionally out of the corner of his eye to see her reaction as their fingers bumped together. His heart beat erratically, and he was pleased and faintly surprised to see a blush spreading across her cheeks, head bowed slightly. Keeping his gaze straight ahead, he resisted the impulse to grab her fingers as they came into contact with his again.

This was aggravating him. Soon, a friendship with her wouldn't be enough; he would want more. He could already feel the signs of frustration; yearning to pull her onto his lap and kiss her when she leaned across him to get a piece of parchment as they studied together in the Heads' Dormitories, desire to hold her hand as her fingers brushed his unintentionally.

He wanted to be able to tell her he loved her without hesitation and have her say it back. He wanted to be able to hold her in his arms without having a reason to do so. He wanted to be able to kiss her whenever he pleased. He wanted _her_, plain and simple.

Except it wasn't. It never was. She had a boyfriend. Why on earth would she be interested in the likes of him?

And he knew that, very soon, he would crack and end up ruining their friendship by telling her how he felt and desperately asking her one last time, with the consent that if she didn't return his feelings he would leave her alone for good. If she didn't, his heart would be more shattered than it already was, if it was humanly possible. And if she did… He didn't dare imagine the sensations of euphoria, love and gratitude that would be submerging him.

But he was _that_ close to breaking.

He risked a glimpse of her. Her fringe had fallen into her forest-green eyes, dark crimson strands falling across them gracefully. She made no attempt to push them away, and James was so tempted to brush them out of her eyes, cup her face tenderly and –

_Stop it_, he scolded himself, _you can't think things like this, you just can't; she's never going to be yours, just accept that_.

Except he couldn't.

The silence was unnerving. He couldn't take the quiet anymore. He had to say something.

"So," he began conversationally, frantically wracking his brains for any subject to chat about. "You and Simon, eh?"

A tense pause.

He could have whacked himself in the head. Of _all_ the things he could have said, he _had_ to say _that_, him being the gormless idiot that he was.

Lily smiled slightly, a half-hearted smile.

"Yeah," she said softly, nodding. Neither of them made eye contact.

"When?" He attempted to make it sound casual, but it came out anything but. She shrugged, again unenthusiastically, as if not wanting to linger on the topic.

"A week ago," she responded mechanically, and then sighed, almost unhappily.

"Oh…" He fell silent once more, pondering this through.

She sounded as if she didn't want to talk about Simon, her _beloved_ boyfriend (James spat out the words inside his head). But, why? It seemed like the perfect relationship and she seemed extremely happy, so why did she not want to discuss her boyfriend? For James knew, from previous occasions, that she loved to talk about her dates.

Unless…

"You don't fancy him, do you?" He didn't mean for the words to sound so abrupt.

He'd suspected it for quite a while now, though. The smiles she gave Simon never reached her vivid eyes, James had noticed. She avoided contact as much as she could. The little contact she did share with Simon was unenthusiastic, though if the boy realised, James did not know.

To hear the words escape her lips, that, no, she didn't fancy Simon, would be music to James's ears. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but hope…

She tensed beside him, startled at his query, apprehensive.

"Of course I do," she replied forcefully. "I go out with him, don't I?" But James wasn't willing to give up just yet.

"Just because you go out with someone doesn't necessarily mean you've got to fancy them," James rightfully pointed out. Lily took a deep breath. He sighed, and decided to attempt a different approach. "Look, we're friends, aren't we, Lily?" he replied earnestly, laying a hand on her arm as they halted.

"Well, yeah…" She trailed off, appearing awkward and embarrassed.

"And friends tell each other stuff, right?" he pressed her, slightly surprised that she was letting him do so. Lily sighed, seeming exasperated.

"Could you just lay off?" she responded brusquely. He stiffened slightly, a wounded expression crossing his face. She sighed, glancing at him. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just, no offence, but this doesn't concern you." He paused slightly.

"But you don't fancy him, do you?" he questioned, knowing he was pushing her to the limit.

"James, let's just not talk about this." She brushed the question off.

"You don't, do you?" he persisted. She let out an aggravated breath.

"James, just…_stop_, all right?" She continued walking as casually as she had been moments earlier.

"Lily." He didn't move. His tone was pleading, his eyes beseeching her silently. He heard her breathe in deeply before she, too, stopped once more. She turned to face him edgily. "D'you fancy him?" he asked tentatively, needing to know. She hesitated.

"Yes," she nodded waveringly. He took a few steps towards her slender figure, taking her small, soft hands into his larger, callused ones.

"Do you, really?" He looked into her eyes despairingly, searching deep into her emerald depths. She stared up at him before turning away, blinking back tears. "Do you, Lil?" he repeated gently.

She swallowed slowly, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"I…" Her voice faded once more. She shook her head slightly. James waited on bated breath, not daring to hope. After what seemed like ages, she finally looked up. "Look, James, I know where this is coming from." He stared at her, shocked, as the enormity of her words sunk in.

How was it possible that she _knew_?

"I've seen the looks you give Simon. The looks you give _me_," she continued, gazing up at him tearfully. "Did you think I didn't?" She let out a small, mirthless laugh as he gawked at her, dumb-struck. "I've known you for seven years, James. We may have fought for most of it, but I _know_ you."

He snapped out of his trance.

"And _I_ know _you_." He squeezed her hands, gazing down at her tenderly. "And I _know_ you don't fancy this bloke, I _know_ you don't. Carry on denying it however much you want," he said, shaking his head as she opened her mouth to object, "but you _don't_ fancy him." She looked away. "Look me in the eye, Lily," he said resolutely, "look me in the eye and tell me you fancy him." She turned her emerald eyes upwards and opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She closed it, shook her head slightly, and parted her lips once more. "See, you don't fancy him." His words were not triumphant, merely stating a fact. He caressed the back of her hands using his thumbs.

"I do!" Lily burst out, glaring up at him. He shook his head horizontally.

"If you did," he whispered. "You would've withdrawn your hands by now." Her eyes dropped to their intertwined fingers, but his eyes caressed her face. His grip tightened. "If you did, you would've threatened to hex me into the next century." He inclined his head slowly, until his lips were a fraction from hers. "If you did, you would stop me…" His lips brushed her ever so slightly as they spoke, their breath mingling. He stared into her forest-green eyes, his breath hitching at the whirl of emotion reflected in them; love, lust, longing…

And then suddenly, without so much as a warning, she pressed her lips to his fiercely. He quickly overcame his astonishment and kissed her back, her fingers slipping from his grasp as they entangled themselves in his tousled hair. He snaked her arms around his waist and pulled their bodies flush against one another, kissing her hard, the pent-up feelings of the past six years unravelling into this mind-blowing kiss.

All he could think of was how their bodies fit together so perfectly, how good it felt to have her fingers in his hair, the feel of Lily Evans' lips upon his. He couldn't care less that she had a boyfriend, that she was taken, nothing seemed to matter now except him, her, and the fervent, heated caress of each other's lips.

After several long minutes, it was he who regretfully broke away first, the lack of oxygen getting to him. He stared down at her, wide-eyed, breathing hard and irregular, endeavouring to figure out everything that had just happened. She, too, was panting, and he could see the realisation of what had just occurred flitting through her eyes. Nevertheless, she did not pull away from the embrace.

"If you did," he breathed, feeling the adrenalin rush through him uncontrollably, "you wouldn't have done that…" Shock flitted through her eyes briefly before she yanked herself away from him, appearing horrified at her actions. A moment later, she was sprinting down the corridor at top-speed.

But he made no move to follow her.

He stood there, face void of any emotion as he stared at Lily's diminishing figure, swallowing hard at the painful lump at his throat, the feel of her still etched clearly into his mind.

* * *


	2. Smile

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Harry Potter, I'd be so much happier.

**A/N:** The (hopefully) much awaited 2nd chapter! I'll let you get on with it, shall I? Oh, and please read the second author's note at the end of the chapter. You may need to, if you like the story.

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—**Chapter 2—**  
_Smile_

That damn smile.

It was just _infectious_.

His hazel eyes would sparkle brightly and crease ever so slightly, and his full lips would curve upwards captivatingly and he seemed to radiate confidence and happiness. Then those around him, too, would automatically smile upon catching glimpse of the James Potter grin. It made people go weak in the knees, made people melt into a pool of incoherency at his feet.

And it had melted her heart.

She remembered a week before, when she'd started going out with Simon. She and James barely even spoke then. A simple greeting at Prefects' meetings, a few words exchanged at rounds, but that was it. He'd stopped asking her out, nagging her, annoying her in all aspects, and avoided speaking to her at all. They'd studied together in the Heads' Dorms, and that was about as far as it went. She'd found it quite pleasant then, so she hadn't commented on his strange behaviour.

And then along came Simon. He seemed a nice enough lad, quite genuine, so why refuse his proposal? So they started going out. Everything had gone nice and smooth for the first couple of days. But on the _third_ day, she'd caught James staring at her.

It had shocked her so much; he hadn't done that in over two months, and here he was, watching her intently. Not knowing how to act in the awkward situation, she'd offered him a timid smile, blushed a faint hue of red, and quickly severed eye contact. He stared at her quite a few times that day, his actions so subtle sometimes she wasn't sure whether she'd imagined it or not. Maybe there'd been something on her face, she'd reasoned. She'd brushed the whole matter off.

But then the _next_ day, she'd spotted him staring at her again. She'd waved the issue away once more, but then noticed that he stiffened whenever Simon was around. The look in his eyes would change and become dark and dangerous, his demeanour hostile. Maybe it was because he never liked Simon anyway, she'd attempted to rationalise. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Refusing to believe her suspicions, she'd remained normal, keeping up her cool, happy façade. Her heartbeat would increase rapidly at the slightest glimpse of him, sending her nerves into frenzy, but whether it was because of her inklings, she didn't know. Whatever it had been, she wasn't supposed to feel that way.

The next day had been a perfectly normal day, minus the minor amounts of staring from James, and she had been looking forwards to rounds that night, for some peculiar reason. She'd been waiting impatiently in the Heads' Dorms for him, and he'd come rushing in. Slightly late, she'd noticed.

Then it happened.

Pleasantly crinkled hazel eyes had shone behind his frames and the edges of his soft lips had quirked upwards into a warm, genuine yet apologetic smile. Regretful though it was, it had still lit up his whole face, and Lily had found herself staring at him in awe.

And _this_ was when she'd known what that mysterious feeling was. _This_ was when she realised why on earth she'd begun to find him so interesting all of a sudden.

She didn't know how it had happened. She'd just seen the boy _smile_, for goodness sake. It wasn't anything huge, just a simple, innocent smile. Yet it had complicated things so much.

One minute she'd thought she fancied Simon Delaney, and the next thing she knew she was tumbled headfirst into a mixture of unexplained sentiments. All because of a _smile_.

Needless to say, she'd forgiven him with a nervous smile of her own, and they'd done their patrols. With a lot of blushing on her part and a lot of puzzled expressions on his, they'd managed to finish their rounds and return to their respective rooms in the Heads' Dormitories.

The timing for all this couldn't have been worse. She had a boyfriend who seemed to fancy her an awful lot, yet she cherished a newly ignited passion for another man.

This was when it all changed.

The little things Simon did which she used to find cute now became irking. Like the way he'd incessantly talk about the 'O' he'd gotten in Ancient Runes, the way he'd frown when he didn't get what he want. Like the way he'd glower at any other boy who so much as looked at her, the way he'd smirk triumphantly when the other blokes looked dejected.

Though she'd never admitted it to herself, she'd come to realise that it had never been 'other blokes'. It had always been James. Simon didn't give a rat's arse about other boys, but whenever James was around he seemed to grow this _boastful_ demeanour, as if silently saying, _I have what you want, and you can't do anything about it_. It aggravated her to no end and she just felt like ripping the boy's hair out.

Who was she kidding? She'd never felt anything for Simon. Nothing in comparison to what she felt for James.

* * *

She hadn't even known what was happening. They'd been doing their rounds, and he'd started asking about Simon. She'd attempted to be as monosyllabic as she could about the whole matter, but he was so _persistent_.

He'd asked and asked and asked until she thought she could take no more. She'd looked into his eyes and she'd wanted to break down, collapse, fall. But it didn't matter because she'd known he'd catch her, known it without a doubt.

And then he'd taken her hands, caressing them tenderly, and told her to look into his eyes and tell him the truth. She'd gazed up at him, and her heart had given a tug of longing for the young man before her. He'd stood there, all handsome and rugged and sexy, his eyes staring soulfully into hers, willing her to answer, begging her without a word.

So she'd kissed him, giving into her heart's yearnings, her body's need. And it had been, for lack of better term, complete and utter bliss. He'd held her with such tenderness tears had stung her eyelids, but she'd carried on kissing him like there was no tomorrow. And for a few, heavenly moments, all had seemed right in the world. Nothing else had mattered. Thoughts of Simon had evaporated and all that was left was a burning need to kiss James as fervently as she could.

This was when reality had decided to come crashing down upon her conscience. This was when she'd stepped back and fled, shock and fear submerging her as she realised the impact of what she'd done. She'd left him staring after her, and she could sense his pain, feel it, because his pain was _her_ pain.

She hated herself for being such a coward. Because that's what she was. A coward. She'd wanted to avoid the matter at hand so badly, but she realised she'd only made things worse, roused more questions, caused more pain.

Why did it have to be like this?

She wanted him to love her, love her like she loved him. She wanted to be with him so badly it hurt. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him with all the ardour that was burning inside her. She wanted _him_, plain and simple.

Except it wasn't. It never was.

* * *

Lily let out a breath, staring up at the ceiling as she lay, tangled in her sheets in bed. It was no use, she couldn't sleep. He seemed to plague her thoughts whatever she did.

Sighing, she disentangled herself from her covers and rose from bed slowly, making her way towards her door. Opening it, she listened for any indication that James was awake – but all was silent apart from the crackling noise of the fireplace. She sighed with relief as she padded down the stairs softly and made her way to the sofa, only to discover someone lying there already.

Her breath caught in her throat as the very person whom infiltrated her mind breathed in and out peacefully, his eyes closed in heavenly slumber. Just seeing him brought back all the memories of the previous night.

She inched towards James, apprehensive of making any noise to wake him up. Her eyes roamed his body; he was wearing a loose, scarlet shirt and black shorts, and he'd undeniably been watching the fireplace before he'd fallen asleep…

Before she knew it, Lily was kneeling beside him, confident that he wouldn't wake. She swallowed slowly as she took in his handsome features, raising a shaking hand to his cheek. She let it rest there, feeling his light stubble scratch the delicate skin of her hand. His skin was warm, radiating heat onto her cold body, and she wanted so much to crawl into his arms and lie there until the end of time. Her hand tingled madly from the contact it held with James's skin, and a smile worked its way across his full lips.

It was that smile again. Seeing him smile made _her_ want to smile, and she felt a small smile grace her features. He was just so breathtakingly _handsome_. Everything from his dishevelled hair to his toned muscles to his callused palms was so attractive it sometimes made her ache inside. A tender finger traced his lips, which felt oh so soft under her skin, while her heartbeat echoed loudly in her ears.

She stroked his cheek tenderly, her other hand resting on his toned chest, which she could feel distinctly under his thin shirt. Leaning in further, she appreciated their proximity, especially since he wasn't awake to witness it. If he was, she wouldn't be so audacious; she wouldn't even be able to string two sentences together. Still smiling softly, her fingers worked their way through James's tousled hair – a gesture he often performed himself. It was a gesture she now found endearing and often longed to do herself.

He lay there, looking innocent, peaceful and so bloody gorgeous she just wanted to kiss a part of him, just briefly. Just once, it wouldn't do any harm.

Having convinced herself, Lily closed her eyes as she leant in further, and pressed her lips to his cheek gently, her lips lingering there for a second or two.

James's head shifted slightly in her hand and she halted immediately, her heartbeat quickening further. She felt a hand cover her own on his cheek and stomach, adding a light pressure to her hands. Her heart leapt to her throat as she realised that he was awake.

She shouldn't have kissed him; she shouldn't have woken him up. She shouldn't have let her yearning to be near him take her over. She shouldn't be this close to him in the first place. She never should have touched him.

Yet, surprisingly enough, Lily didn't regret doing any of that. She'd wanted to do that for such a long time it felt good to finally do it. Maybe now that she had, she wouldn't need to any longer.

Still, it didn't make her any less nervous or embarrassed as she pulled back. Her emerald eyes met with a pair of warm hazel, sending her nerves into frenzy as she gazed into the orbs, feeling heat spreading across her cheeks.

She was with Simon, she told herself calmly, she was with Simon. Simon, her boyfriend, Simon, who fancied her so much, Simon…Simon, who…?

All thoughts were immediately eliminated from her head as she gazed into James's eyes. The blush seemed to fade from her cheeks, and a curious tingling sensation spread though her hands as he held them in his own.

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, the silence screaming loudly in their ears.

James tilted his head ever so slightly, decreasing the gap between their lips. His gaze never wavered from her eyes, and she stared back, knowing her eyes were like a window to the swirl of emotions inside her. It wasn't as if she'd be able to hide anything from him anyway. He knew her all too well.

And right now, she knew that he knew she wanted him to kiss her. Because his head inclined towards hers again, pausing a tantalising _fraction_ away from her lips.

How she wished to close that gap, making their lips meet in heavenly ardour. And perhaps he knew just how much she wanted it, because he leant in, leant in until their lips were mere centimetres away from each other.

She grew numb as his breath crashed over her face. Want and desire were clouding her senses, immobilising her brain, making it impossible to think clearly. He was too hesitant; she wanted him to get on with it…

It was she, this time, who moved towards him.

Their lips had barely brushed when Lily came to her senses.

Leaping up hastily, she backed away, not daring to look him in the eye because if she did, she knew she'd find herself caving. She'd cave, and she wasn't ready to cave, not yet. Yet she wanted to be with him so badly. It was all so sickeningly twisted she was tearing up inside.

She sped from him for a second time, rushing up the stairs to her dormitory, sensing his pain, feeling it, sensing exactly what he would be thinking, knowing it. Because his pain was _her_ pain, his thoughts so similar to hers.

And as she thought back to what made her fall for him in the first place, his smile, his strikingly handsome smile, she knew it wouldn't be flashed in her direction for a long, long time.

* * *

**A/N: Edited on 05/08/2011**

Alrighty. So. I will finish this. I have a few weeks' worth of holiday on my hands and nothing better to do aside from anything associated with Harry Potter, so I will finish this. I'm sorry I haven't been here - life has been amazingly hectic, and even though it's my holidays I've always got something to do or somewhere to be.

I'm hoping you haven't given up on this (or me) yet. And thank you, all of you, for your favourites, alerts and reviews - you've been seriously patient with me; I can't even begin to say how much I appreciate that.


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